Welcome to Judi Moreo’s monthly e-zine, developed specifically for people who want to be the best they can be and enjoy much success in their lives! Please feel free to forward this to associates, friends, and family!
To ensure delivery, please add judi@judimoreo.com
to your email "safe list"
In This Issue
Dear ^fname^,
"What we've got here is a failure to communicate." This statement was made famous by the prison warden in the 1967 film, "Cool Hand Luke." In almost every business, organization, and home today, we have that same problem…the failure to communicate what it is that we really mean.
Our communication style is simply a series of behaviors. We have the power to choose words and actions to communicate the message we want to send. Ask yourself, "Is the way I am communicating now aiding or hindering my relationships? Is my behavior aiding or hindering whether or not I am trusted or respected? Am I showing respect to others? Am I showing others that I value them? Am I getting the results I want in my life? If I'm not, why not? Which of my behaviors do I need to change?"
Why is communication so difficult? Consider this: there are eight realities about our communication that exist at any one time:
- What I mean to say
- What I actually do say
- What you heard me say
- What you thought you heard me say
- What you mean to say
- What you actually do say
- What I heard you say
- What I thought I heard you say
Is it any wonder we misunderstand each other? Quality communication only happens when the intent of the message is understood by both parties.
When attempting to communicate with another person, don't just assume you understood what they said or they understood what you said. Clarify instead. Ask questions until you know what you heard and understood was indeed what the other person meant. Ask questions to be sure the other person understood what you meant.
We never know what another person is thinking or feeling. Even if they tell us, we can't fully experience their feelings, because we aren't the one experiencing it. We don't have the same background, upbringing, or memories they have. Even if we are experiencing the same event, our perception of it is probably totally different.
By assuming we understand, we might actually cause other people to be defensive. Don't say things like, "I know exactly how you feel." You don't know how they feel. You aren't them. Their feelings are different than yours. You will never fully understand how they feel. And for goodness sake, don't jump in and start telling the other person about a similar thing that happened to you. First, show some compassion.
There's no question about it: what you say and how you say it will reveal who you believe you are. It's imperative for you to keep your emotions under control when conversing with others. Be sure you are showing the emotion that you want to show at the time and place you want to show it. Your attitude strongly influences the quality of your voice and your ability to communicate effectively. Make sure your entire demeanor is saying what you mean.
Power belongs to those who shed their insecurities and react to life in an active and positive manner. Be the warden of your own communication prison, free yourself of insecurity, and unlock your ability to communicate effectively.
You are more than enough,
Judi
The Gift of Love
By Judi Moreo
To love and be loved is one of humanities deepest desires. Too often it remains an unsatisfied hunger, burning inside. Feeling unloved over a long period of time can cause us to feel unlovable. We retreat into ourselves, locking away our feelings and desires because we feel we are not good enough, pretty enough or smart enough to be loved by the people around us. Depression, frustration and anger often result. We push people away because it is easier than feeling the disappointment of not feeling loved. Most of us have experienced these feelings at one time or another in our lives. If and when this should happen to you, there are some simple ways you can begin to feel better about yourself and regain some of your joy in living.
Keep on keeping on.
Sometimes the only thing we feel like doing is to just crawl in a cave, pull a rock over the entrance and cry. The loss of a loved one, whether through death, divorce or change of circumstances, can trigger a wide range of negative emotions. If we continually express these negative feelings, we find ourselves stuck in our misery. At times like these, the only thing we can do is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep getting up, getting dressed, going to work or school. The comfort of routine and the stimulation of outside events help, over time, to lessen the power which pain can have over our lives.
Do something for someone else.
Volunteer to help at a soup kitchen. Drive a senior to the doctor. Get involved with Habitat for Humanity or a community action group. Clean up graffiti or join a community clean-up project. Whether you help someone you know or step out of your comfort zone to work with people you've never met, you will not only accomplish good in your community, you will feel better about yourself. It is much easier to love and be loved when we feel that our life has value.
Do something for yourself.
It's ok to do something for yourself. You deserve it. Read a good book, take yourself out for a special lunch, take a nap or go for a walk. We live in a hectic, stress filled world. If we don't stop and remember to care for ourselves, we can begin to resent everything else we do and that leads to feelings of being unloved and unappreciated. The little voice starts screaming inside, "What's in it for me?" Give yourself a mini vacation from everything you "should" do and do something just because you want to.
Do it with love.
Whatever you do, whether it's your job, a favor for a friend or treating yourself to a day at the spa, do it with love. Entering into any situation with feelings of dread, resentment or frustration will only make the task more difficult. Find something to love about what you are doing. If there is nothing in the situation that you can love, then it's time to love yourself enough to make some changes in your life.
My Love Story
By Judi Moreo
I was alone in a foreign country about which I knew nothing except what I had read in those brochures and learned from the people I had talked to on the plane. What was I to do? I had a choice to make. I could stay in my room, hide out, and be safe. Or I could muster up my courage, go out in the streets, see this new country and have an adventure.
Early the next morning, I went down to the lobby and consulted the concierge who told me it was not possible to take a tour that day as you had to make a reservation on the previous day. He said he would arrange tours for me for the next three days. Today, he recommended I put my money in my boot, my camera in a paper bag and take a walk around downtown. The idea of the paper bag was not to look like a tourist. It wasn't long until I figured out that my disguise probably wasn't working as my flaming red hair and brightly colored attire were really out of place in the business district of Johannesburg. Everyone I passed wore gray, black, or tweed business suits. I noticed one man in particular as he was dressed in black and white; everything was stark, beautiful, tailored, and expensive. He was more striking than Tom Selleck at his peak of popularity. This man smiled as he passed me. I was lingering and looking in store windows, noticing the architecture, going in and out of stores, looking at tourist treasures and didn't think too much about it when I passed him again a while later. Once again, he smiled and nodded.
As I stopped for the light before crossing the street at the corner of Coetze and Kline, I happened to look up and see a small outdoor café on the second floor of a building across the street. The cafe was located on an outdoor terrace with many colored umbrellas shading the tables from the sun. I was thinking how beautiful it was when the Tom Selleck look-alike walked up behind me and said something that I didn't understand. So I said to him, "I'm sorry. I only speak English."
"I was speaking English," he replied in a heavy accent.
"What did you say?"
"I said that I've been running up and down this street for a half hour now trying to find out if anyone knew you so they could introduce me, but no one did, so I figured I'd better introduce myself before you get away. I'm Jeff Hoffman." "Well, nice to meet you Mr. Hoffman."
"Would you like to have a coffee?" he asked indicating we should go to that charming café with the red umbrellas that I had been admiring. I saw no harm in sitting in an outdoor café, having coffee with the most handsome man I had seen in many years, so I agreed to go for "a coffee."
Mr. Hoffman turned out to be divorced, a few years older than me, a successful businessman, and very interesting. He offered to show me around Johannesburg, but I explained that I had tours booked for the next few days. He then suggested that he drive me back to my hotel. I said that if he'd like to walk me back and point out the sites of downtown I would be happy to have him accompany me. So we walked, talked, and arrived at the hotel a couple of hours later. He invited me to dinner and I agreed as long as it was in the dining room at the hotel. After all, I was in a foreign country and didn't know him at all. After dinner, he said "Good night" and that he would call.
The next day, I took my first tour. I had fun talking to people that I probably never would have talked with had I not been alone. I met people from England, Australia, and Asia. We saw the city, watched a performance of African dancers, toured a gold mine and even panned for gold. As the bus pulled up to let me off at my hotel, I saw Jeff Hoffman standing on the curb.
"Hi," I said. "What are you doing here?"
"I've come to make sure you get a good dinner," he said. Once again, we had a fabulous meal and enjoyed talking with each other about our different cultures and our lives. I was fascinated with his life and he was happy to share his experiences with me.
Each evening, as I returned from my daily tour, he was standing at the bus stop waiting to take me to dinner. Then I went on a three day tour to the Kruger National Park, where I photographed animals in the wild. Everyone on the tour slept in round huts with thatched roofs called rondovals. In the Kruger Park, all eight of us who were on the tour ate our meals together and had cocktails called "sundowners" in the bush as we watched the sun go down. We even had dinner in the bush…a fabulous dinner served on folding tables with white table cloths, china, and even candles. Later we observed the night creatures as they came out of their daily hiding. What a wonderful adventure I was having.
Sure enough, when the tour bus pulled up to return me to the Landrost Hotel, there he was again. He said he figured that by now, I would need some clean clothes. He had come to take me to dinner and pick up my dirty laundry. He said I should not pay the high hotel prices for having my laundry done, but give it to him and he would ask his maid to do it for me.
Then, when we were together on Friday evening, he suggested that on Saturday he would take me to the Indian market. Surely, I could trust him enough by now to get in his car. After all, he had returned my clothing!
So Saturday, I made the choice to go with him to the Indian market, shopped, ate exotic Indian foods, laughed, walked, and shopped some more. He invited me to a small town about 50 km outside of the city to meet his father, sister, and her family. That, too, turned out to be a wonderful outing. His family members were all so nice and asked many questions about America and my life. They served a wonderful meal and told me about their lives.
I then spent a week traveling around South Africa…Jeff called every night and when I arrived back in Johannesburg once again, he was waiting for me. I only had two days left before I was to return home. We spent almost every waking second together...sightseeing, shopping, we even attended his son's cricket game.
When the day came for me to return home, Jeff drove me to the airport to say goodbye. We stopped at a restaurant near the airport to have lunch. As we finished lunch, this wonderful, stylish, kind man with dark hair and dark eyes pulled out a small box and gave it to me. I opened it and discovered a beautiful, handmade gold ring set with a champagne diamond. Jeff smiled at me and said, "Come back to South Africa and be my wife."
I had a choice to make. Even though I knew I loved him, it took me several months before I made the decision to say yes. I closed up my home in Las Vegas and made all the arrangements to move to South Africa. Shortly before we were to be married, I received a phone call from Jeff's brother-in-law telling me that Jeff had died. Needless to say, I had another choice to make. Eventually, I made the choice to move to South Africa anyway. I loved South Africa and I loved Jeff's family. To this day, his sister, Brenda, is my best friend, and I carry Jeff in my heart always!
Join Judi on an Alaskan Cruise!
Judi will be presenting her exciting new keynote program, "You Are More Than Enough" on board the Carnival Spirit on a 7 day Alaskan cruise from Aug. 9 -16th. Ports of call will be Seattle, Skagway, Juneau, Ketchikan, and Victoria, British Columbia. Join Judi and friends for learning, laughter, and lots of fun.
Contact Judi for more information: judi@judimoreo.com
or (702) 896-2228.
Mind Workout
Love Letters
As February is the month of love, perhaps you'd like your mind workout this month to be the creation of a love letter for the love of your life…or even all the people you love. Here are some ideas for creating unusual, unforgettable love letters.
- A letter hunt.
Leave a love note somewhere conspicuous and put "To be continued at the bottom," then give a clue as to where the person might find the next part of the love letter. Continue doing this until the person has had to hunt down at least one half dozen notes.
- Floating love letter.
Save the next empty wine bottle, write a love letter and stick it in the bottle, cork it and float it in a bubble bath. Tell your partner you've prepared a bath for him or her.
- Say it with his or her name.
Send your love roses according to how many letters in his or her name. For example: If his name is John. J: Just imagine how much I love you. O: Only you can make me feel this excitement. H: How I love to hear your voice. N: No one else could ever love you as much as I love you. Tie each note to an individual rose and underline the first letter so he can figure out that you've spelled out his name.
- Book of Love.
List your ten favorite things about the person you love. Write a note about each thing. Put the notes in a little book and present it to the other person on Valentine's day.
- In A Different Language
Write your loved one a long, romantic, handwritten letter in a different language. Give it to him/her with something you treasure. They'll have a memorable time getting the letter translated.
*Hint: www.babblefish.com = free translations.
What Judi's Clients Are Saying
"In my first year of mentoring with Judi I accomplished many personal and professional things I had been putting off for 10 years!! If you want a Coach who helps you discover your potential, set goals and holds you accountable, Judi is the one."
Becky Buckley,CFP®
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™
"Having Judi Moreo as a mentor is like having the perfect solution to every question you've ever had. Her knowledge, patience, tenacity and ability to hone in on what you need and in what areas are unparalleled. She is truly extraordinary. You will benefit in more ways than one having her as a part of your growth and your life"
Jennifer Joseph
"From the time Judi focused her outstanding mentoring talents and instincts on my career, it has risen straight up. Her advice has proven to be excellent on all counts. Where I had nothing, I now have steady bookings as a motivational speaker and trainer. I look forward to reaching even greater success with Judi's steady, experienced hand on the helm."
Bob Walker
Salvage Master Productions, LLC
Affirmation
I am awakened to the unlimited possibilities to be lived. I erase my boundaries and embrace new adventures. I reach beyond the horizon to a fuller, richer life. I am more than enough.
Subscriptions
This e-zine has been sent to:
^email^
We encourage you to forward this message to friends or colleagues who want to be the best they can be and
enjoy much success in their lives!
http://www.judimoreo.com/ezine/subscribe.htm
We don't want to unnecessarily clutter your in-box, so if Motivational Tidbits doesn't meet your needs,
simply unsubscribe by going to:
http://www.judimoreo.com/ezine/unsubscribe.htm
© 2005-2011 Judi Moreo. All rights reserved. Feel free to use text from the Motivational Tidbits eZine in whole or in part as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site and e-mail links. Please also do us the courtesy of notifying us of where the material will appear.
Privacy Policy: We do not share any information about any subscriber with anyone for any reason. Period. |
